Thursday, March 22, 2007

 

Looks

I've been practicing with my camera, being a real narcissist, taking pictures of myself. I've gotta tell you, I'm not photogenic in the least - me with the closed eyes or goofy expression when the shutter trips. Ugh! Most of the time, I hate seeing myself in pictures. I look all wrong, not the way I see myself in the mirror. Every once in a blue moon, someone catches me unawares with a natural smile on my face and I like the way I look. So my practice is about posing in a natural way in order to get a decent photo for my blog. Some of the photos I've taken aren't bad. The beauty of a digital camera is that I can delete the yucky ones. However, concentrating on how I look is also giving me a complex. I'm picking apart my features (okay, one particular feature) as though I was a teenager. Not fun! I saw a Christina Aguilera video this morning, and boy is that girl a looker! Gorgeous in her air-brushed beauty. As a grown woman pushing the big four-oh, I thought I was over this comparison. It's not healthy, no sir. I know better than to let myself spiral into self-loathing, so I gave myself a stern talking-to. I said, "Look, self, no one runs screaming from the room over your hideousness when you walk in. In fact, most people rather like you, so you can't be a total woofer. Besides, your husband thinks your gorgeous and he has excellent taste, so just knock it off already, won't you?" All better.

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